We are a religious Creed
very deep-rooted in all continents, following the teachings of
our Founder Pron Huffart. We believe that the Divinity manifest
Himself through farts, as an evolution of the ancient belief according
to which the voice of God on earth was the thunder. We attribute
various means to the various kinds of fart, but the divination
cannot be carried out by the single faithful: it must be entrusted
to Clergymen, the only initiated who have the power to decipher
the messages included in the volume, the tonality, the duration
and, above all in the smell of the mystical emission.
Our Church encourages the consumption of carminative foods, like
legumes, onions, leaks and chestnuts, especially in the collective
gatherings which we carry out periodically in the in the Sport
Halls of the cities of the whole world, during which, after having
well sealed any door, window and air duct, we go into raptures
with our staying together, in communion, peace and joy: many of
us are so taken by the mystical climate that they quite faint,
others have visions and begin to speak strange initiation languages.
Naturally we must also stand the persecutions of the intolerants,
and for this many of us are forced to manifest their own faith
in an individual way, in isolated places, or quite to deny it,
when it is displayed in public: this is very sad and we hope that
the moment comes soon in which anybody will be able to say with
his head held high: "yes, I farted!"
Our Church promotes the Petologic culture by the sale of books
of our Founder Pron Huffart, which explain like completing, in
several stages, the liberation way that goes from the repression
of one's own faith and its manifestations, until the free expression
of it, with instead the search of more and more frequent and long-lasting
contacts with the God, through, as we have seen, a correct feeding;
on the other hand is well known that all the great religions provide
for food precepts: in our religion the vegetable coal is considered
impure and must be banned by the faithfuls' table.
For the adepts several stages of consciousness exist, whose attainment
is assessed by our Elders, and which are scanned by the purchase
of Huffart sacred texts, of a more and more elevated content,
and legumes with thicker peel.
We believe that in each of us harbours a vital energy that must
be freed, rather than repressed, and we believe that when all
the inhabitants of the earth will make it, in every corner of
the planet the voice of God will resound loud.
page last updated: December 3rd 2007