Cattle swimming: a negated reality
by Andrea Gaddini
Professor of Bovine Oceanography at Squaw Valley Sea University
Director of Livestock Swimming School of Buffalo, NY

It seems that bovine species is doomed to be disparaged and calumniated: in a previous work (Flying cattle: a negated reality) we described how the overwhelming power of the official science concealed the undeniable reality of cattle's flying skill. The same blunt veil of silence covers another unquestionable truth: bovine swimming skill (photo 1).
In Italy it is possible to find exact evidences of it: we recall the Sardinian islets named "the Bull" (photo 2) and "the Cow" with the rock "the Calf" (photo 3), near S.Antioco (Cagliari), (see the website), while, always in Sardinia, near Dorgali (Nuoro), lies the famous Sea Ox Cave (photo 4), and a cave with the same name lies on Filicudi island, in the Sicilian archipelago of Aeolians; these place-names clearly testify the aquatic habits of this species, renowned by the popular and ancestral wisdom, irresponsibly wiped out by scientific and technologic progress.

It cannot be by chance if all cattle breeds of the world originated in coastal areas (Frisia, Holstein, Normandy, Asturias), if not even on islands (Jersey, Guernsey, Great Britain, Sicily and naturally Sardinia).
Another evidence of aquatic vocation of bovines is the etymology of one of the most widespread cattle breeds in the world: Simmental (photo 5), which name ingenuously (or fraudulently) is deemed as derived from a geographical name (in German "Simme river valley "), while is clearly linked to "schwimmen", that in German means "swimming" and it's obvious that you can't swim on a pasture, but only into the water. Another very widespread breed is Brown Swiss (photo 6), at first named Schwitz, purported to derive from the Swiss canton with the same name, while is clearly derived from the German word "schwitzen", meaning "to sweat", typical reaction of one who performs a prolonged athletic exertion, like a long swim. Moreover a typical italian beef breed is named Maremmana (photo 7), clearly referring to the sea (in Italian: mare), confirming our previous statements. In English the action of directing a ship is called "steerage" and it's clear that the term comes from the need to change the ship's course to avoid collisions with swimming steers.
We must reasonably deem cattle life as amphibious, alternating water and land periods, but we must admit the existence of wild cattle passing all their lives into water, far away from the shore, and probably showing fittings to a wholly aquatic life, like largely enhanced body dimensions; this could explain the sightings of unidentified living being that could in reality be big water livestock, like Loch Ness monster in Scotland (named Nessie, as a dairy cow) or Mokele Mbembe in Congo, which name, according to the official sources, means "one who stops the flows of rivers", while according to confidential sources in our possession means "the big water cow, quite big", and this is confirmed by the onomatopeic trait of the name, rich of Ms.
Many cattle breeds show mimetic coats typical of aquatic animals, with ventral region and inner part of the limbs much lighter than the rest of the body (photo 8). Nevertheless mimetism is not enough to explain the extreme rarity of cattle sightings in the sea and it must therefore surrender to evidence: sea cattle are used to perform very prolonged dives, which can be performed only with a further fit to water life, i.e. rumen modifications, to make it available as swimming-bladder, or as an air supply for long dives; this is confirmed by the sensational photografic document (photo 9) representing a heifer dipping since 26 minutes!
On the other hand cattle have a genetic endowment of 60 chromosomes, 14 more than human species, making us to deem they must necessarily have capacities extraordinarily higher than humans, including flying or swimming for a long time under water.
Obviously cattle are less fit to aquatic life than cetaceans, but anyway they show off acrobatic performances, just besides marine mammals (photo 10).
Cattle feeding along the sea period of their vital cycle is mainly made of seaweeds, harvested and gathered together with their horns, but since in stock-farms they feed also fishmeal, not showing any problem, we must think that wild cattle integrate their diet also with plankton or small fishes that they catch with unexpected skill. Even cattle grazing on land go often close to streams to catch trouts and salmons they're greedy of (photo 11).

The aquatic vocation of bovine species is anyway alive even in reared animals (photo 12, 13 e 13a), often caught to swim in public swimming pools (photo 14, 15 and 16 ), with obvious hygiene and public order problems.
Moreover the breeders don't like swimming performance of their animals, how proved by the event of the six Charolaise cows of East Yorkshire who crossed swimming Humber river, for unknown reasons, and were captured and taken back with an helicopter (photo 17 and 18).
We must give the lie to the hypothesis that sea cattle sighting are in reality refered to sirenids, like dugong or manatee (photo 19) which, even if are also called "sea cows", are absolutely unable to moo or ruminate and anyway have never been sighted on Swiss or Austrian pastures.
The peculiar swimming skill of cattle can surely explain the bovine migrations: in particular, about Australia, the presence of British cattle breeds in the austral hemisphere cannot be justified by a possible ship transport by the English settlers, but is more easily explained by swimming mass migrations of cattle, confirmed by the peculiar fitness to water of Australian cattle (photo 20).
Not many years ago a renowned tunny brand was publicized as "sea steak": it was a resounding own-goal, an admission of the fact that the product sold as tunny is in reality water beef, fished (or hunted) fraudulently, in the frame of a devilish silence conspiracy.
From all these facts a serious question arises: water beef should go together with either white or red wine? Rose' could be a reasonable half-measure; moreover in a sea food salade should be correct to add water beef? And could an observant Catholic eat water beef on Friday and other days of abstinence from meat?

We hope that this work can help making human beings and water cattle come nearer (photo 21) and give a contribution to dispel the obscurantist smoke screen covering facts of common knowledge like bovine flight and swimming or that blenders (photo 22) work thanks to a tiny tireless man running very fast in a whirl screeching aloud (see our work in four volumes: "Blenders work thanks to a tiny tireless man running very fast in a whirl screeching aloud"). The official science uses all its power to impeach the disclosure of truth, but they're not cowing us and we'll keep going straight ahead on the path traced out by the scientists from Galileo to Einstein.

my works of upsetting scientific vulgarization on cattle

page created: January 2nd 2006 and last updated: October 30th 2010